A Snowpocalypse Poem

Plucky yellow Smart Car
Struggling down my street
Intent on your destination.

Your fortitude astounds me
The entirety of your vehicle
Balancing in the solitary rut
Of a long gone snow plow.

Your determination as solid
As the mountain of ice and snow
Blocking my own driveway.

And yet, Oh! How you soldier forth
Focused on the effort
Nay! The NEED
To reach civilization.

Plucky yellow Smart Car
Sir, I salute you
As you fishtail by
Blackened smoke jetting from your exhaust pipe
As though you were hyperventilating
Perhaps you are.

Though we both know
The only human contact you will likely find
Will be the tow truck that comes
After you have frozen for three hours in a ditch
Just up the road.

Still, you tried
And so, Good Sir
I wish you
Godspeed
And raise my fist to the air for you
In silent solidarity.

The Twelve Days of an Ice Storm Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Some herniated back discs, three.

On the second day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the third day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Three days no power

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Four freezing children

Three days no power

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Five weeks, no paycheck

Four freezing children

STILL NO POWER!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Mountains of laundry

Five weeks, no paycheck

Four freezing children

NO! Don’t flush the toilet!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Woot! A generator!

Mountains of laundry

Five weeks, no paycheck

Four freezing children

I just want a shower. PLEASE!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

A never-ending ice storm

Woot! A generator!

I know it’s dirty. Just wear it.

Five weeks, no paycheck

Mom? I can’t feel my fingers!

I’m going to kill myself tripping over these friggin’ extension cords!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Warm, spoiled groceries

A never-ending ice storm

Gas for the generator costs HOW MUCH?

Mountains of laundry

Five weeks, no paycheck

S-s-s-s-s-soooooo c-c-c-c-c-c-cold, M-M-M-Mommy!

SERIOUSLY? I need to wash my hair. Seriously.

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

A kid with flaring asthma

Great. Just great. A month’s worth of meat, wasted.

How long can one ice storm last?

FREAKING GAS GOUGERS!

I know there’s no clean laundry! I know it! Just wear it!

STILL NO PAYCHECK.

Mom? Help! I’m frozen to the toilet!

If we unplug the fridge and the space heater, maybe we can light up the Christmas tree for a minute.

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Six inches snow fall

Unplug everything, I need to fire up the nebulizer.

Will insurance cover all this lost food?

The longest Christmas week ice storm in history. Yay.

This generator does NOT last eleven hours once it’s filled. False advertising. You suck.

It’s okay to live in dirty pajamas, kids, no matter what I’ve told you before.

I’m never getting my paycheck. Never ever ever.

MOM!! My toes turned blue and fell off!! Am I going to die?

Not to scare you kids, but I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

HECK YEAH! I think I see….if I squint just right….an energy company truck down the road!

Really? MORE SNOW?

Please stop coughing. Please stop coughing.

Well….the bread isn’t spoiled. Here, eat some bread.

Okay, so the iced over trees would look kind of pretty, if they weren’t responsible for the destruction of mankind.

It stopped! Whose turn is it to refill the generator? Go, go, GO!

Layers, kids, it’s all about layers. I don’t care if you look like a marshmallow.

PLEASE. SEND. MY. PAYCHECK.

Mommy? I can’t blink…..I think my eyeballs are frozen.

No but seriously though….isn’t this how “The Walking Dead” started out?

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

“Faire, Faire, Baby” (My Ren Faire parody of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”)

“Faire, Faire, Baby”

(Yes, you may share this. No, not without my name and link attached to it. I would seriously LOVE it if one of my Ren Faire friends would pick this up and actually perform it! 🙂 )

STOP!! Pirate up, and listen!

Faire is back, casting auditions!

Smokin…holdin’ on tightly

Joustin’ on horses, manly and knightly!

Never gonna stop

Yo….ho, yo ho!

Pull out your swords

And let’s go!

If you got a problem

Take it to the King

Once you get it settled

Join with me and sing

Faire, Faire, baby

Bum bum bum bada bum bum

Let’s go to Ren Faire, baby

Bum bum bum bada bum bum

There’s dancers

Swingin’ on stage

Hands to yourselves, boys

(One’s underage!)

The Queen’s Court

Bow to the Crown

On hands and on knees

Get your nose to the ground!

And mermaids

Splashing their tails

Better not touch

You might end up in jail!

There’s pirates!

Sailin’ on ships

More belly dancers

Swingin’ their hips.

If you got a problem

Take it to the King

Once you get it settled

Join with me and sing

Faire, Faire, baby

Bum bum bum bada bum bum

Let’s go to Ren Faire, baby

Bum bum bum bada bum bum

There’s Scotsmen

Kilts sway in the breeze

Hitch it up higher

And give us a tease!

This days hot!

You know what we need?

Slip to the pub

And order some meade!

There’s witches!

Casting and chanting

Corseted wenches

Breathless and panting.

It’s Sunday!

Rest in the shade

Cannon’s gone off,

Time for cast to get…….

………………

Paid.

If you got a problem

Take it to the King

Once you get it settled

Join with me and sing

Faire, Faire, baby

Bum bum bum bada bum bum

Let’s go to Ren Faire, baby

Bum bum bum bada bum bum

(More verses may be forthcoming. Stay tuned!)

My Sister, My Best Friend

My Sister, My Best Friend

By Valarie E. Kinney

 

When I was a little girl and

My sleep was filled with nightmares

I could run down to my sister’s room

Find peace and comfort there.

Sleepily, she’d raise her head

Pull the covers back and whisper,

“Come in, climb up, and snuggle down

Sleep well, my little sister.”

The summer that I turned sixteen

And learned to drive a car

She taught me how to drive a stick

We never drove too far.

Just up and down that old dirt road

Where we three kids grew up

Listening to Poison

And the screaming of the clutch.

The morning of my wedding day

So nervous I could hardly think

She rearranged my veil just right

And painted my nails pink.

When I became a mother

Unsure of how to do it right

She helped me calm the baby

Get her sleeping through the night.

I called her one day sobbing

And the sweetest words were spoken

When my oldest child went off to school

And I thought my heart was broken.

Four years ago, we lost our Dad

I didn’t think that I could take it

She held me and reminded me,

“We’re Savage girls, we’ll make it.”

Throughout the fails and victories

The challenges of years

The ins, the outs, the upside-downs

She kept me laughing through my tears.

My sister has been my anchor

In my life, I’ve always known

That she was just a call away

No matter the trouble life has thrown.

And now it seems just far too soon

For me to — broken hearted — whisper

“I love you to the moon and back,

Sleep well, my precious sister.”

Thirty-Eight.

Hey, it’s really not so great

Feeling almost thirty-eight

Man, my knees really creak

So many dishes in the sink!

These dishes never end

Teenagers busy pressing “send”.

Baseball, soccer, and then Scouts

Never a minute for time-out

Sometimes I’m tired of this

But the kids’ activities are never missed.

Homework’s gotta get done

Wish I had more time just for fun

Need more caffeine in my cup

Reach down just to pet my pup.

But then she pees the floor

Think I might walk out this door

Then again, I guess I’ll stay

I kind of like her anyway.

Hey, it’s really not so great

Feeling almost thirty-eight

My roots can be a fright

And these blue jeans are too damn tight.

These dishes never end

Teenagers busy pressing “send.”

Sometimes I get so tired

I miss the days when I was wired

On just three hours of sleep

Wanna lay down and count some sheep.

But there’s so much more to do

Household chores are never through

Come help me with what needs done next

Can’t help, Mom, I’ve got a text.

Hey, it’s really not so great

Feeling almost thirty-eight

My house is always a mess

Sometimes I think it’s one big Test.

These dishes never end

Teenagers busy pressing “send”.

Hey, it’s really not so great

Feeling almost thirty-eight

Arthritis setting in

Is that a hint of double chin?

These dishes never end

Teenagers busy pressing “send.”

But, I guess I’ve got it right

Kids and a guy who stay home at night

At least I have that much

Though my teenagers think I’m out of touch.

Not sure what this implies;

Children’s aggravated sighs

Mom, I just need ten bucks

Sorry, kid, you’re out of luck.

Hey, you know we’re rotten broke

Quit laughing! This is not a joke

Seems I’m losing all my time

Spending dollars, making dimes.

Hey, its’ really not so great

Feeling almost thirty-eight

My joints, they always hurt

Am I too old to wear this shirt?

Laundry piled up in all the baskets

I wish you’d help me before I ask it

Just want a little bit of your time

Sit with me here while I rock this rhyme.

My life is going so many ways

Can’t keep track of it most days

Don’t want to miss a thing

Come on, join with me and sing.

Hey, it’s really not so great

Feeling almost thirty-eight

Man, my knees really creak

So many dishes in the sink!

These dishes never end

Teenagers busy pressing “send.”

Calamity.

The storm came in the morning

A day that had begun as any other

Became a day nobody would forget.

Silent, frozen

Ice spread through our veins

Teeth began to chatter

Realization dawned.

Seeking comfort in the sleep-intoxicated pink cheeks

And tousled hair of our children,

A promise that something in the world

Was still perfectly right.

Fear, indignation, bile rising in our throats

Stomachs leadened, sickened

We stared, wooden

At the screen that once delivered talking turtles

And rainbows to squealing children.

Desperate to stop the flow of information

That we could not fit inside our minds

Physically unable to remove it from our eyes

Lest the threat spread to our own backyard

And we are caught unaware.

Involuntarily flinching at the sudden sound

Of any engine

Churches opened

People flocked to fill them

Less for the prayer or blessings

More for the sense of unity,

A hand to hold.

Stricken faces in our mirrors

We wished for sleep,

For no other reason than to avoid the truth

We spoke in whispers

Just in case

The volume of our every day voices

Could somehow draw the evil

To our own door.

This one day; for weeks, months after

We are a nation of One

Tragedy, The Great Equalizer

Color, religion, income

Brushed away

We are just part of “Us”

And we are against “Them”

We stand together;

Angry, frightened

Proud.

We feel tainted,

Suspicious

Unable to return to the innocence

We once enjoyed.

We are different people now

Changed

Moving forward

Yet still wary.

Three numbers

A constant reminder

Of the collapse

Of two mighty mountains.

Acting Up

Does it make you feel bigger

To make others feel smaller?

Does causing another deep pain

Alleviate your own?

Why is it

You seem to believe

Your personal pain

Is more important

Than anyone else’s?

You are not special

Not the only one who hurts

Weeps

Questions.

Each of us carries a bundle of pain

Just as heavy as your own.

Heavier, perhaps.

We choose to walk on, despite the weight

Our shoulders may slump

Our hearts may break

But we soldier forth

Chins high

Continuing on our path.

Stopping along the way

To offer love

Kindness

Friendship

Because we remember

The weight of the pain.

It is ever present

But it does not define us.

If pain defines us, pain wins.

Your infantile actions

Only serve to increase

Your own misery

At the same time,

Wounding those who have loved you so long,

Their own years have grown short

Hair has grayed

Wrinkles multiplied.

Does this feel like success to you? Victory?

You do have a choice

You could choose to use your pain

To help lift the burden from another

But doing so would lighten

The crushing weight you cling to so proudly

Maybe that is what you are truly afraid of.