
On the first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Some herniated back discs, three.
On the second day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the third day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Three days no power
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Four freezing children
Three days no power
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Five weeks, no paycheck
Four freezing children
STILL NO POWER!
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the sixth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Mountains of laundry
Five weeks, no paycheck
Four freezing children
NO! Don’t flush the toilet!
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Woot! A generator!
Mountains of laundry
Five weeks, no paycheck
Four freezing children
I just want a shower. PLEASE!
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the eighth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
A never-ending ice storm
Woot! A generator!
I know it’s dirty. Just wear it.
Five weeks, no paycheck
Mom? I can’t feel my fingers!
I’m going to kill myself tripping over these friggin’ extension cords!
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the ninth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Warm, spoiled groceries
A never-ending ice storm
Gas for the generator costs HOW MUCH?
Mountains of laundry
Five weeks, no paycheck
S-s-s-s-s-soooooo c-c-c-c-c-c-cold, M-M-M-Mommy!
SERIOUSLY? I need to wash my hair. Seriously.
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the tenth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
A kid with flaring asthma
Great. Just great. A month’s worth of meat, wasted.
How long can one ice storm last?
FREAKING GAS GOUGERS!
I know there’s no clean laundry! I know it! Just wear it!
STILL NO PAYCHECK.
Mom? Help! I’m frozen to the toilet!
If we unplug the fridge and the space heater, maybe we can light up the Christmas tree for a minute.
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
Six inches snow fall
Unplug everything, I need to fire up the nebulizer.
Will insurance cover all this lost food?
The longest Christmas week ice storm in history. Yay.
This generator does NOT last eleven hours once it’s filled. False advertising. You suck.
It’s okay to live in dirty pajamas, kids, no matter what I’ve told you before.
I’m never getting my paycheck. Never ever ever.
MOM!! My toes turned blue and fell off!! Am I going to die?
Not to scare you kids, but I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me
HECK YEAH! I think I see….if I squint just right….an energy company truck down the road!
Really? MORE SNOW?
Please stop coughing. Please stop coughing.
Well….the bread isn’t spoiled. Here, eat some bread.
Okay, so the iced over trees would look kind of pretty, if they weren’t responsible for the destruction of mankind.
It stopped! Whose turn is it to refill the generator? Go, go, GO!
Layers, kids, it’s all about layers. I don’t care if you look like a marshmallow.
PLEASE. SEND. MY. PAYCHECK.
Mommy? I can’t blink…..I think my eyeballs are frozen.
No but seriously though….isn’t this how “The Walking Dead” started out?
Spinal stenosis
And some herniated back discs, three.
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