Maybe this has been on my mind because my youngest daughter is a senior in high school this year, and we have started discussing what style prom dress she wants.
Maybe it’s because I just released a new book. Probably both, I guess.
But I’ve been thinking about when I was in high school, and the way it felt to find that perfect dress. And I’ve been thinking about writing, because I’m always thinking about writing. Eventually these two ideas have mashed together, so let me see if I can be clear about what I’m thinking.
My First Book:
Just Hold On is something I wrote just to write it. The work of it kept me going in the midst of deep grief, and I found a lot of joy in learning I could do this thing, I could write an entire novel. I know I’ve said this before, but I published my first book after my sister died and I was caught up in this terrible thought of “what if I die before I do it?”
So I did it. And I’m proud of it. It’s a good book, and it gets good reviews, mostly. It seems to touch a chord with people. I’m happy about that.
When you are prom dress shopping, and you find a dress that’s a good price and it’s pretty, and you try it on and look in the mirror and you think, “Man. This dress is so pretty.” But in your heart you think the style of it might look a little better on someone else, someone with less curves or more curves or longer legs or different hair. Still, you can find no fault with the dress, and if you buy it and take it home, you’ll likely be happy with it. Just Hold On is like that dress, to me. It’s a good book, though I’m not certain I will ever write anything like it again.
My Second Book:
Slither was great fun to write. So gross. And the snakes! Absolutely delightful. I mean that. It started out as a short story that just kept growing, and I kept writing it because it was so much fun. I had no idea how much fun writing horror could be until I delved into the misery of Slither. Some days I had to quit writing because my fingers had gone numb, but my brain wouldn’t shut up with ideas for it.
It’s a great dress, really. Slither hugs the curves where it should, and has some nice ruching to cover up those weird areas. It’s not on sale, but it’s in the budget. The size is right, the color is right, and you know you’ll look fine on the dance floor if this is what you wear to the big night. You start to fantasize about which shoes and hair style you want to go with this dress. I love this book. I worked hard on it and was so proud when it came out. It’s also a creepy book, and not everyone likes snakes, so not everyone loves it. But that’s okay. It’s still pretty killer. (<<haha. A killer horror book. See what I did there.)
My Third Book:
Heckled just came out, but I wrote it early last year. It’s different from anything else I’ve ever done, and it’s hard to explain how I felt when I was writing this book. Fevered, maybe. I could not write fast enough. Like lightning from my brain to my fingers. I felt fearless, strong, and…somehow, as if I’d just come home. This book feels like it is MINE, like it is truth, at least, my truth, the way I saw the story unfolding in my head. It’s my heart, raw on the page, ready for criticism but knowing I could not have written it any other way.
It’s the dress you try on and look in the mirror and suddenly you stand up perfectly straight. Tall. You meet your mom’s eyes and smile. You know it’s a little over budget but you’re confident you can talk her in to paying for it. You’re confident about everything. This dress needs no seamstress, no tucks or hems. You cringe at the thought of taking it off and putting on your street clothes, because you know in this dress, you can do anything. You’re powerful. You know this is the dress you’re going to wear to prom, but you think you might also wear it out for a casual dinner one night, or next time you go to the movies, because damn, you know you look that good.