The Twelve Days of an Ice Storm Christmas.

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On the first day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Some herniated back discs, three.

On the second day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the third day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Three days no power

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Four freezing children

Three days no power

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Five weeks, no paycheck

Four freezing children

STILL NO POWER!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Mountains of laundry

Five weeks, no paycheck

Four freezing children

NO! Don’t flush the toilet!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Woot! A generator!

Mountains of laundry

Five weeks, no paycheck

Four freezing children

I just want a shower. PLEASE!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

A never-ending ice storm

Woot! A generator!

I know it’s dirty. Just wear it.

Five weeks, no paycheck

Mom? I can’t feel my fingers!

I’m going to kill myself tripping over these friggin’ extension cords!

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Warm, spoiled groceries

A never-ending ice storm

Gas for the generator costs HOW MUCH?

Mountains of laundry

Five weeks, no paycheck

S-s-s-s-s-soooooo c-c-c-c-c-c-cold, M-M-M-Mommy!

SERIOUSLY? I need to wash my hair. Seriously.

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

A kid with flaring asthma

Great. Just great. A month’s worth of meat, wasted.

How long can one ice storm last?

FREAKING GAS GOUGERS!

I know there’s no clean laundry! I know it! Just wear it!

STILL NO PAYCHECK.

Mom? Help! I’m frozen to the toilet!

If we unplug the fridge and the space heater, maybe we can light up the Christmas tree for a minute.

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

Six inches snow fall

Unplug everything, I need to fire up the nebulizer.

Will insurance cover all this lost food?

The longest Christmas week ice storm in history. Yay.

This generator does NOT last eleven hours once it’s filled. False advertising. You suck.

It’s okay to live in dirty pajamas, kids, no matter what I’ve told you before.

I’m never getting my paycheck. Never ever ever.

MOM!! My toes turned blue and fell off!! Am I going to die?

Not to scare you kids, but I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Santa brought to me

HECK YEAH! I think I see….if I squint just right….an energy company truck down the road!

Really? MORE SNOW?

Please stop coughing. Please stop coughing.

Well….the bread isn’t spoiled. Here, eat some bread.

Okay, so the iced over trees would look kind of pretty, if they weren’t responsible for the destruction of mankind.

It stopped! Whose turn is it to refill the generator? Go, go, GO!

Layers, kids, it’s all about layers. I don’t care if you look like a marshmallow.

PLEASE. SEND. MY. PAYCHECK.

Mommy? I can’t blink…..I think my eyeballs are frozen.

No but seriously though….isn’t this how “The Walking Dead” started out?

Spinal stenosis

And some herniated back discs, three.

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