Toxic Leaks

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Some people are like toxins, their personalities like leaks. They hold an invisible poison within them that slithers out when you least expect it, sucking the air from a room, the toxicity sticking to your skin like overgrown moss.

The strange thing is….we don’t always realize we are privy to this toxin. We call it love. We call it friendship. We call it family. We call it commitment.

All the while, the toxins are stealing our breath.

The moss grows heavier on our limbs, weighing down our souls with burdens that are not ours to bear.

We don’t even realize how quickly it covers us. We fight for the toxin. We welcome it, embrace it, argue with it, allow it to cause us tears.

One day, we turn on a light, and realize……we no longer have any bare skin.

We cannot catch our breath.

The moss has overwhelmed us, sneaking into every aspect of our lives, changing our vision.

Causing the unbearable stench in the air we breathe.

And that is when we realize we must make a choice:

Allow the moss to continue its growth, invading the air with poison

Or

Let go.

We DO have that choice.

We can let go of the toxin, (although our hearts want to hang on).

We can stop the leak, (although plugging the hole may cause more pain).

We can scrape the moss from our skin, (although it may hurt…..almost certainly, it WILL cause pain, and a great deal of it, after all…it may have seeped into the pores of our skin, grown roots).

We can breathe fresh air, (although the unusual purity of it may sting our lungs).

Letting go is okay.

And it doesn’t have to be forever. (Maybe it needs to be. Maybe not).

Maybe letting go will allow the toxic leak necessary time to ruminate on their choices, and bring them
to some healthier decisions.

Maybe not.

Maybe letting go will give us enough space to see a few things we couldn’t see before, when our vision was blurred by foggy air and moss-covered eyes.

Letting go HURTS. Even when you know it’s the only choice left.

A wise person once told me, “You can’t save all the puppies.”

I had to think on that for quite a while.

My nature is to want to save ALL the puppies.

I WANT to save them, and bring them home, and wrap them up in warm, fuzzy blankets, and fatten them up with good food and watch the light in their eyes sparkle as they romp and play.

I want to save all the puppies.

But I can’t.

I am only responsible for my own.

And sometimes being responsible for my own puppies means removing them from the influence of other puppies.

It doesn’t mean we don’t love the puppies we have to let go of. We may love those puppies with a force that is staggering, and letting go may cause a gut punch that leaves us breathless.

So I’m mixing metaphors a little bit here. And the toxins have become moss which has now turned into puppies.

Are you following this?

Because it’s important. It really is.

It’s okay to stop the leak.

It’s okay to let it go.

It’s okay to walk away from the puppies that can’t be saved.

Sometimes the puppies have to grow up and learn to wobble on their own two, I mean four, no wait, would it be two? That just sounds weird Well, anyway, wobble on their own feet, face reality, and buy some weed killer, all by themselves.

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