Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Four years; how has it been so long?

Sometimes I can’t believe

That it really has been so much time

Since the day you had to leave.

So much has changed; the kids have grown

You’d be so proud of them

I know that you would love to see

Them growing into women and young men.

Olivia is turning seventeen

She does so well in school

In Honors, doing clinicals

She’s so smart and beautiful.

(And Dad! We just bought her first prom dress. I wish you could see her

in it. She is perfect.)

And Savannah, Dad, her hair is blue!

She’s still playing the guitar

Thinks she’ll be a photographer

This year, she learned to drive a car.

Donovan has changed so much

You’d hardly recognize

This young man with the deeper voice

And wisdom in his eyes.

And Brennan, he’s a riot!

No more baby face

He just did the Pinewood Derby

Guess what? Dad, he won third place!

Our family has faced trials

We will not give up the fight

But it seems like since we lost you, Dad

Nothing has gone right.

And yet. And yet, Dad…..I know you are not completely gone.

Genetic echoes, they surround me

Alive in my own mirror

In my children’s laughs and snorts and shoulder shakes

Your legacy is clear.

Never will there be a day

When missing you hurts less

But there is still room for laughter

In this chaotic mess.

There is still room for beauty

Room for family, room for smiles

There is still room for happiness

And jokes, once in a while.

We have to take your memory

And shape it just to fit

The hole left by your passing

And the agony it left.

In doing so, we’re whole again

Broken; bruised and bent and battered

But….

Still strong, still here, still pushing on

Although our hearts were shattered.

Broken pieces seem to have a way

Of melding back together

Not quite the same as once before

Still whole, but changed forever.

April 1, 2009

I miss you so much, Dad. If I had known the last time was really the

last time, I would never have let you go

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