Four years; how has it been so long?
Sometimes I can’t believe
That it really has been so much time
Since the day you had to leave.
So much has changed; the kids have grown
You’d be so proud of them
I know that you would love to see
Them growing into women and young men.
Olivia is turning seventeen
She does so well in school
In Honors, doing clinicals
She’s so smart and beautiful.
(And Dad! We just bought her first prom dress. I wish you could see her
in it. She is perfect.)
And Savannah, Dad, her hair is blue!
She’s still playing the guitar
Thinks she’ll be a photographer
This year, she learned to drive a car.
Donovan has changed so much
You’d hardly recognize
This young man with the deeper voice
And wisdom in his eyes.
And Brennan, he’s a riot!
No more baby face
He just did the Pinewood Derby
Guess what? Dad, he won third place!
Our family has faced trials
We will not give up the fight
But it seems like since we lost you, Dad
Nothing has gone right.
And yet. And yet, Dad…..I know you are not completely gone.
Genetic echoes, they surround me
Alive in my own mirror
In my children’s laughs and snorts and shoulder shakes
Your legacy is clear.
Never will there be a day
When missing you hurts less
But there is still room for laughter
In this chaotic mess.
There is still room for beauty
Room for family, room for smiles
There is still room for happiness
And jokes, once in a while.
We have to take your memory
And shape it just to fit
The hole left by your passing
And the agony it left.
In doing so, we’re whole again
Broken; bruised and bent and battered
Still strong, still here, still pushing on
Although our hearts were shattered.
Broken pieces seem to have a way
Of melding back together
Not quite the same as once before
Still whole, but changed forever.
April 1, 2009
I miss you so much, Dad. If I had known the last time was really the
last time, I would never have let you go